Enjoying Life After A Long Day. :)

THE IMPORTANCE OF BONDS

Philippe Jose S. Hernandez

            Last night was a great surprise for me. I just came from a meeting at UST, which extended to an unexpected visit to Allied Bank in Makati. I had a friend waiting for me in YM! I got home at 7 p.m. and immediately logged on to meet this person.

            The individual I met was seemingly a completely changed one. Usually, this person would be laid back and sleeping—that’s how I came to know her, based heavily on what she tells me about herself. But after going through perhaps her biggest struggle yet, it all came 180 degrees. The usually laid back person is now transformed into a proactive individual driven and motivated to help out and pursue various interests. I seem to have met a person who’s budding for a “revamp,” an “overhaul,” so to speak—FOR THE BETTER. It’s like leaving past things behind and moving forward while retaining the good things to embrace even better things. You have my utmost support.

            But perhaps what struck me most was the compliment I received. I’ve known her for less than a year, and yet she gave me the unique honor of labeling me as her ‘TRUE FRIEND! I remember telling her, “I just didn’t feel worthy enough yet to be labeled as such.” But she confirmed that, in her eyes, I really am so.

            I wish for you to find eventually—in the long run—one who will take care of you…one who will do a good job at it, because you deserve nothing less. My life’s journey has many parallels with yours, and I am blessed to find a confidante. For a person so special, the best—- No, I take that back. The BETTER THAN BEST is warranted. Hopefully, you get that, for you deserve it. Just always remember that you’ve got your friend here, and I’ll never get tired of enjoying looking at an adjacent chair. ;)

            What is it really with this thing we call friendship? In a broader sense, relationship. I am an ardent believer that even if one becomes successful, he is still primarily a mere reflection of those who helped him be so. And in the game of life, we succeed not because of who we are—IT’S BECAUSE OF WHO MADE US WHO WE ARE.

             Recently, I’ve been hearing many things about friendship. I’m humbled to hear the observation that our peer group remains one of the most active and still strong ones, while most of our contemporaries rarely find time to see one another. I’m blessed to have peers like them, who despite our tight schedules still find time to hang out and goof off—especially when we get so stressed with the serious and hectic life outside our youthful sojourns. To all of you, the road continues to wind on and on. My question is: ARE YOU READY?

            After two years of almost total alienation, an old friend resurfaces. I’m simply happy to be in contact again—and for the contact to be received by me in a light and jolly manner, without apprehension, anxiety, or whatever. I have to confess I’ve been angry, but now all of that has come to pass. You know who you are. I pay tribute to you in this writing for making me who I am today—you played perhaps the most vital role in it. A common friend recently showed me historical photos. I discarded my copies in the past, so I took them back and filed them. What joy to see them again after a long time! It is my dream to eventually iron out with you. I hope this can help out. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. Take care. P.S. Thank you for the bread.

            There are also those who can be annoying. Very annoying to the point that you don’t want to deal with them for quite a period of time. Yet when the annoyance comes to pass, revert back to the truth that are first and foremost friends. Cherish that. Take care of it…forever. It’s never easy to find a die-hard friend to stay with you for over a decade.

            There are also friends who become sidekicks—those who ease your burden by being always on-call. A partner in historical escapades—through offices, libraries, malls and books. To you, thank you. I am indeed grateful to have such a CO-CHAIR. ;)

            I’ve seen you undergo many trials, and the most recent one has been the hardest so far. Leaving one’s homeland, so to speak, is never easy. But remember, look into your heart always and know that you will forever be who you began as. Growl loud, my dear! They may have God, Country, Letran, but stay true to the colors of black, gold and white. Go forth, Attorney! :)

Again, there are those whom you may not be close to when you’re physically near, yet when distance separates you, you become more appreciative of them. While the irony may be perplexing, the bottom line is that the seeds for friendship were still sown…despite the length of time needed to germinate. Liken it to a bamboo. Albeit it takes a long time to grow, it’ll be very difficult to pull it out—because it is firmly rooted to the ground from it came. To you guys, WE’RE GONNA WIN THIS FIGHT!

            Inspirations will also be in abundance. It can come in the form of a book, photo, music, artwork, and of course, a person. I couldn’t put much words to project this person. Speechless, if I may say so? Thank you, though, for standing at my defense during a boggling conflict—even though it put you in hot water, too. You remain a very close friend, and I am blessed. You are one whom I have never argued with, quite a rare achievement for me. ;p  Thank you for the numerous honors you’ve given me in the past. Congratulations, future E.I.C. of Vogue Magazine. J

            A very loyal person who has a lot of things to say, stories to share. Continue to be so. I may often sleep at night without warning and reply very late without notice, but I appreciate your gestures and your openness to me. Thank you for the trust. I hope you liked your little debut. As the book that you gave me says, “FAIRNESS DOES NOT GOVERN LIFE AND DEATH. IF IT DID, NO GOOD PERSON WILL EVER DIE YOUNG.” All of us are subject to the critical eyes of our neighbors, so don’t be too sensitive to them. You’ll lose sight of your true goal—and of who you really are. You are far more appreciated than you are criticized. You can count on me to be appreciative. ;)

The journey of life is a long travel. To you, thank you for the walk-a-thon in Makati. :)

            I paid tribute to a few people here. I hope you appreciate the gesture. In general, I look at the diverse experiences I’ve had, the different people I’ve met and marvel at the lessons I’ve learned.

            Remember to always sow seeds of friendship. Yes, there will be those whom you just don’t like at all, but still treat them civilly—nicely.

            BE CAREFUL WHOSE TOES YOU STEP ON TODAY, FOR THEY MAY BE CONNECTED TO THE FOOT THAT WILL KICK YOUR ASS TOMORROW. I love this quote. :D

            I realized that no matter how much bitterness may be experienced, eventually it will come down to the remembrance of good things. You can only be angry for so long. And good will always override bad.

            Let’s take care of the bonds that we have. That way, we get to fully appreciate how it is to be blessed with the gift of life. It takes two to tango, and life alone isn’t that fun. Look to your friends. Appreciate them. I just did. :D

May 27, 2009

5:23 p.m.

FRIENDS: For A Reason, Season Or Lifetime

Philippe Jose S. Hernandez

            Friends come into our lives for a purpose—whether they are aware of it or not. All of them are heaven-sent, gifts from God, so we should cherish them. However, one reality is that they will also leave. The friendship ends; we move on. So, the question now is, “What really are the purposes of our friends?”

            They come for a reason. No person is fully self-reliant; we need people. Whether we simply need a person to help us in our project or as big as someone to slap us in the face to get us back to reality. We pray sometimes for a person to make us smile, make us feel good again, and they do that. To some females, the knight in shining armor has come. For males, the princess who turns the frog prince into a human being again has arrived. But somehow, someway—and usually cruelly—the relationship ends or loses steam. After the mountain-high excitement, it plateaus. Sometimes, the land ends—nothing but the conclusion of the line. The prayer has been answered. Time to move on.

            They come for a season. Remember friends from elementary? How about high school? There are people with whom you spend months or years. You share fun times with them. You share laughs. You have petty quarrels here and there, but the depth of the friendship isn’t that established. After graduation, the bond weakens. The season has ended. The plug has been pulled.

            They come for a lifetime. For a person like me who meets so many people almost at a consistent breakneck pace, I know a lot of people, and a lot more know me, but I don’t know them. I try to treat them as equitably as possible, but there is a group of around 15-20+ whom I count in this category:

1.      The Die-Hard Programmer

2.      The Crime-Partner Co-Chair

3.      The Vogue Magazine Editor-In-Chief

4.      The Chinese Princess

5.      The RFG Addict

6.      The Three LITTLE Angels

7.      The Dean-like Chef

8.      The Food-Loving Giant

9.      The Artistic Nurse

10.  The FAITHful CPA

11.  The Japanese Librarian

12.  The Australian Singer

13.  The Favorite Classmate

14.  The Dragon Nutritionist

15.  The Tikoy Engineer

16.  The Bespectacled Behaviorist

17.  The Business-Minded ECE

18.  The Black-Loving RN

19.  The Lovely Powder Keg

20.  The Kinky Popular One

            These are the Hall of Famers, the cream of the crop. These friends are the ones you give your very best to, for they are the elite ones. These friends are the ones whom see you pass through the reasons and seasons and still stick with you, learning the lessons of life taught by the previous two. They’re the ones who see you commit a mistake but never think you made a permanent job. They’re the ones responsible for you not enjoying your food fully because they ate much of it.

            These are the ones whom you may not see for some time, but when you do so, it’s as if no gap of time went by. How do you know they’re the ones? One, I guess, it’s the simple belief that they are indeed those people. Two, the strength of your bond is evident. Three, they’re usually the ones who belong to the list of people you want to see or talk to when you’re down. Take care of them, ‘coz they will do the same to you.

            How about you? Where do your friends fall? Are you setting your priorities right? :)